The Count of Monte Cristo

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become crimes by exaggeration. No, she must have conceived some pathetic
scene; she will come and throw herself between us; and what would be
sublime here will there appear ridiculous." The blush of pride mounted
to the count's forehead as this thought passed through his mind.
"Ridiculous?" repeated he; "and the ridicule will fall on me. I
ridiculous? No, I would rather die."

By thus exaggerating to his own mind the anticipated ill-fortune of the
next day, to which he had condemned himself by promising Mercedes to
spare her son, the count at last exclaimed, "Folly, folly, folly!--to
carry generosity so far as to put myself up as a mark for that young man
to aim at. He will never believe that my death was suicide; and yet it
is important for the honor of my memory,--and this surely is not vanity,
but a justifiable pride,--it is important the world should know that
I have consented, by my free will, to stop my arm, already raised to
strike, and that with the arm which has been so powerful against others
I have struck myself. It must be; it shall be."